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Chemo Day 1

Sup ya’ll. Before I get started I just want to thank everyone who has found the time to come and visit me or has reached out to me and made sure I’m never alone for long. Most of all, I want to thank my parents for being here everyday. I seriously don’t understand how you fit it into your schedule but it really does help a ton never having to spend a full day alone.
So today was my first day of chemotherapy, which essentially means I needed to be attached to like 7 bags of nonsense for a good number of hours and watch a marathon of Seinfeld, so all in all not a bad time. Unlike what I had expected, chemo really doesn’t have very many adverse side effects. I don’t get nauseous, the fatigue won’t kick in for a couple of days, I’ll lose my hair but not for a couple of weeks, I don’t think. All in all I feel roughly the same as I did before the chemo, only now my ass is sore from sitting for so long.
For those of you who don’t know, I was diagnosed with a fairly advanced form of cancer called metastatic synovial sarcoma two days ago. It started in my right thigh, and has spread to my heart, chest, and there are still some bits left in my brain from my stroke 2 weeks ago. The plan is to do 5 day cycles of chemo for as long as it takes before the tumors are small enough for them to use radiation to get rid of what’s left. Based on how widespread the cancer is, I would assume this will take a number of cycles (8ish maybe?) which will take a few months since I have about 2 weeks rest between chemo cycles. I will be remaining in my absolutely baller room until my cycle ends Tuesday, but after that I should be returning home for the first time in 21 days.
Throughout this entire journey I’ve had a very good attitude and haven’t really gotten very worried despite having a full understanding of just how serious my condition is. To be as honest as possible, my oncologist described it as “we’ll have to get a little bit lucky for you to survive the holidays.” Despite this, I will ask everyone to please not feel sorry or apologize to me, as I really am handling this very well and strangely enough I’m having a great time here at MGH. It’s been an eye-opening experience and I’ve decided that life is short, so I’ve been pursuing my dreams of sitting in a bed watching New Girl and hitting on nurses all day. So far it’s been everything I hoped and dreamed it would be.
So I’ll probably be posting these blogs every time I get an update about my condition (they’ll probably be shorter and include more dumb jokes from here on out). You can also always reach me on my cell phone if you have any questions or just heard a great knock-knock joke. You’re also welcome to send me your number if you want to talk or be included in my snapchat updates of how high I can fill my urine bottle each morning.
I feel like I have successfully shared enough of my medical info and made enough inappropriate jokes to make both my parents yell at me tomorrow after they read this, so I’m going to stop here. Have a great night everyone! See ya’ll in the morning.

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