I’m a bigtime hypocrite. I was looking at my website stats recently (I work in marketing so that’s just how I gauge success naturally) and I’ve been noticing a decrease in traffic. Now, there’s a few explanations for why that may be:
- My blogs aren’t very captivating. I mean my last blog was like 30 words long, so this wouldn’t be very shocking, but people always tell me they really like my blogs so I dunno. Maybe they’re just being nice.
- People aren’t finding my blog. I can’t figure out why, but my blog still doesn’t appear on Google so people may just not be able to find it.
- I don’t have quite the market audience I anticipated. There are like a lot of people in the US with cancer and they should be reading personal cancer blogs like mine to get another perspective and to get advice.
Here’s the thing about reason #3: I don’t do this myself. I always think, “people should want to read my blog, it’s full of stuff I think is helpful.” But I don’t read other people’s personal cancer blogs. I don’t research medical things online. I don’t active go out of my way to find websites or read blogs about cancer. But I should. I bet it would be really helpful. I’m just over here in my own little bubble wondering why more people don’t read my stuff and not even thinking about how that’s exactly what I’m doing too.
I went to therapy and after about a month of chit-chatting we came to a realization: I don’t do things to try and help myself. It was a real problem. I use this example a lot but let’s take my hemorrhoids as an example. I had them for about 2 months and they caused days of discomfort and painful bowel movements and you know what I did to make them go away? Nothing. It’s like I had a headache and I was just deciding not to bother to take Tylenol. Just didn’t make sense. But I realized this about myself and I started to take action. I went to CVS the next day and I bought everything I would need to start an anti-hemorrhoid fighting force. I got witch’s hazel, fiber gummies, Epsom salt, preparation H, gauze, all sorts of shit. And you know what? My hemorrhoids went away after.
I don’t know how many people out there are like me, but I’m sure I’m not alone. I’m sure there are other people out there who are too proud to help themselves. Who are intentionally putting themselves through pain in an effort to not rock the boat. Just thinking, “this will all just go away if I power through it.” But fuck that. Why would I do this to myself? If I have a headache, why wouldn’t I just take Tylenol? If there are countless people out there talking about things that have made cancer easier for them, and they’re out there writing about it and putting it on the internet, why am I not reading it? Am I too good for the advice of others? Do I think that I’m so smart and experienced that there couldn’t possibly be people out there with better ideas than my own?
So I’m doing something about it. I’m going to start trying to help myself. I’m going to start reading other personal cancer blogs and using their advice. I wish people would do this with my writing, so it only makes sense that I should do it with theirs. From here on out I will be reading blogs and posting my 3 favorites from every week on this site. Let’s say I’ll do it on Fridays. Cancer blogging isn’t a competition. I’m not out here to get the most pageviews. I’m out here to offer help in the form of advice in the best way I know how so that when I die, all the experiences I’ve had and all the things I’ve learned won’t just go to waste. So that’s what I’m gonna do.