Oh hay gurls haaayyyyyyy!! Wow was that was terrible, but hey I’ve been doing this nonsense for almost 2 years now cut me some slack. They can’t all be winners. It’s actually pretty bananaland that my last post was in like October or some shit. That’s a long ass time ago. My browser didn’t even have this site automatically pop up when I typed it into google (why would this site pop up if you type “it” into google? Yo sick one Mitch, you’re the absolute worst). Anyways, so here I am, violently hungover from Southie last night, having a nice Sierra Nevada, listening to Meatloaf (that dude has some absolute FIRE jams), and about to try and explain like 8 months worth of cancer nonsense. Should go well. I believe in me. So as many of you may know, I stopped chemo for good a couple of weeks ago. I made a nice snapchat of me shotgunning a beer, the lady who refills supplies at infusion gave me a compass, it was a great time for everyone. Absolutely tremendous, really. So I stopped because my kidney function was just too high and I even stopped drinking for a week and it still didn’t help and as much as I want leukemia (possible side effect of too much chemo) I’m actually good on having 2 cancers. So at that point (3 weeks ago maybe?) my doctor said there was an immunotherapy clinical trial I could try if I wanted that would have minimal side effects and might be useful. I’m typically a fan of treating diseases I have so I was game for it and did some screening and shtuff. Long story short I found out last week that I can’t do it because none of my non-radiated tumors are large enough, which isn’t a bad reason to be disqualified. Basically, they need participants to have tumors large enough to see in a CT scan so they can measure whether or not the medicine being tested is having an effect, and mine weren’t large enough to measure. Was kinda bummed, I wanted to be in another medical journal plus the research nurse was pretty hot but what can you do. So where does that leave everyone’s favorite cancer blogger at today? I’m not sure, sort of in limbo. I’m getting no treatment of any sort currently and will get CT scans every 3 months to make sure the tumors aren’t growing but as of now I’m just chillin. One thing worth noting but I want to be EXTREMELY clear about, is that there is a small chance that there are 0 cancer cells left in my body but it is a VERY small chance. Now, given my previous history of overcoming extremely small odds in the past 2 years (both getting rare cancer and then not dying from it and somehow coming out more handsome than ever) I will say that it’s not implausible that I don’t have cancer anymore, but it’s extremely unlikely and odds are very good that I still have cancer, not sure what the vegas odds are on it but I would bet rent on me having cancer still. But I make this point clear because I have been very superstitious this entire process and I do not want people thinking I’m cured and celebrating and somehow jinxing it. Sounds absurd, but the entire past 2 years of my life have been beyond absurd so if it ain’t broke then don’t fix it. The only way we’re gonna find out is if I keep getting scans and they keep coming up with no active cancer, but if I am truly well we won’t know for years (like 5-10). So I have many thank you’s to give out if that is the case but again, not jinxing it so no thank you’s today, sorry everyone. That’s basically all the updates I have, but I do want to leave everyone with a nice joke cause that’s just the kind of guy I am. Not as bad as a few years ago, but it has been a long winter, and now that it’s spring I’m so excited that I wet my plants! Hehehe goddamn am I funny. It’s a gift and a curse really. Anyways my laundry is almost done, Bat out of Hell is about to end, and I need another beer so I’m out y’all. Have yourselves a weekend and always remember, life is too short to bet the under.